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Let me be honest and upfront: I love my job. I fully believe that what I do is what I was made for and would want to do nothing else. But there are days, and yesterday was one of them. Days when it seems like everyone needs something and they all expect you to provide it. Days when you head to the office with your to do list all laid out and then spend the whole day busy only to leave with nothing “accomplished”. Days when the brokenness of people (myself included) seems like a never ending cycle that just leaves more and more brokenness in its wake. Days when there are no answers for situations that I encounter. Days when a friend that has inspired you by her life moves into the last stages of her battle with cancer. Days when I shift from looking forward to the day to looking forward to the end of the day because at least tomorrow I get the chance to start over.

So I sit here (the next morning, the beginning of this new day) reflecting on the chaos that was yesterday. There were bright spots now that I have some distance to see a little more clearly. A friend taking on a task that had to be done to save me the 2 hours it would have taken. A wife and family who love and care for me regardless of how much I get accomplished. The reminder that even though my inspirational friend will soon be with Jesus and not with us, that she will be WITH JESUS. The reality that it is God who is working in me to make me who He wants me to be, not me working for Him to make sure everything gets done.

As I was talking with my daughter last night, looking through photos I have collected on my phone over the past several years I came across this quote that helped me let go of my expectations and surrender to the work of God.

The secret that we share I cannot tell in full. But this much I will tell. What’s lost is nothing to what’s found, and all the death that ever was, set next to life, would scarcely fill a cup.
— Frederick Buechner, Godric

There are days. There will always be days. Days when it seems like nothing works. But the beauty of a relationship with Jesus is that we are given the gift of a long term perspective. That “…all the death that ever was, set next to life, would scarcely fill a cup.”

Jeff KuhnComment